Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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