we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
