So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
