i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
