thus making me awesome and them whores
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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