you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
