Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
