She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize