this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
