You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
