Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
