she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Can I color on your dick again?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
