am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
