it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
