Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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