hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
