Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
