And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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