Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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