as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
