FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
