just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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