idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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