whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
