my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
