At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
