I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
