we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
