I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
