whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
