you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
