is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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