THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
