no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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