I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
