Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
as a side note pls kill me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize