definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
