He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
