it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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