I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize