Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
