I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
