i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
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