Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
