I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
