awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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