I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When are your genitals available?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
