i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
