remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
