so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
