just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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