u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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