Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
