holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
