He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Found your dick twin last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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