I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
