all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize