Please don't use social media to get back at me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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