He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
