i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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