This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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