I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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