it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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