Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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