Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Nicole vs. Life
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
